Matt the High Strung

An anonymous person, let's call him "Matt" is ignoring the requests I send him. This poses a big problem for me because "Mark" wants me to do the work that CBOE's paying me for and I need to have "Matt" thinking that I am constantly busy, overworked even. The way I have been doing this is by telling "Matt" that our systems are completely inadequate and need to be redesigned. I then ask for a new PC (see "Don"), diagramming software, overtime to diagram the system as it is, a new printer to print out the diagram, additional software to redesign the system and another new printer to print out the new diagram. He would then tell "Mark" the amazing amount of work I've been doing and suggest that I get some comp time. This used to work great. Now, all "Matt" says is: "I don't care what you do, just stop hanging around my cube and filling out request forms. By the way, I have seen cats with better handwriting than you, try to make your requests legible as well as limited. Are you still here?" Now, in my defense I write requests that way to hide the actual costs involved (brilliant, eh?). I think "Matt" needs a massage. I am not going to give it to him, but we could send him somewhere nice. The #1 rated spa in the United States according to Travel and Leisure Magazine is The Canyon Ranch Resort in Tucson, AZ. This is going to cost me: $4,706.14 for 7 nights (Includes $210 allowance for Health & Healing Services and 7 Spa & Sports Services). That should work, don't you think?

Please send your donations for "Matt's" massage to:

Matt needs to get back to normal

Chicago Board Options Exchange

400 South LaSalle Street

Chicago, IL

60605